HD’s Musings

We had a great time here in Milwaukee last weekend as we had a crew of our Minnesota friends in to visit and all three couples brought babies with them!  As some background, I still keep in close contact with a variety of people from high school, but there has been a gang of five of us who have been close since our days wandering the halls of Lakeville High School. Today, 12 years (!) after graduation two of us, myself and Josh Silva (married to Andrea), live here in Milwaukee while the other three, Chris Ellsworth (married to Brea), Josh Wilske (married to Grace) and Pete Feig (married to Emily, who was also a Panther), live in Minnesota.  We’re all happily married (each playing well above the rim) and four of us have children (the Silvas have a dog, Nike) 13 months and younger.

Both we and the Silvas have purchased homes recently and the arrival of Elliott spurred the visit.  They all got into town late Friday night and the first mass gathering of the babies happened in the Silva’s living room.  Ethan (Josh and Grace’s 13-month old son) and Zachary (Pete and Emily’s 9-month old son) were all wound up from sitting in the car for 5 ½ hours so they came out guns blazing.  Crawling everywhere, piling on top of each other and have a grand old time.  Piper (Chris and Brea’s 8-month old daughter) had been in town for a few extra days but wasn’t to be left out from the fun.  Elliott, at just nine weeks, was comfortably sleeping and couldn’t care less about the madness happening at carpet level.

Piper trying to figure out why her Mom is holding another baby...

Pete pointed out early on how now that we have kids, our gatherings will gravitate to the floor as we all watch, laugh and separate the kids as they roll around each other.  His observation would be confirmed a number of times throughout the weekend.  We didn’t stay too late Friday night but the festivities continued Saturday.

With Piper (she likes to stand)

Kari and Zachary

Pete and Elliott

The group met at our house for lunch and the kids were reunited.  We moved everything in our entertainment center above three feet to protect it from Zach - one of his favorite things to do is to crawl to furniture and pull himself up to stand and grab.  Ethan is able to go down stairs so him and his Dad took a trip (intentional) down our stairs as we have about twice the amount that the Wilske’s split level has.  His smile going down made me appreciate the wonder of stairs all over again.  Elliott got in the act by laying on her activity mat in the midst of it all.  Piper and Ethan both joined in on the fun by tugging on her mat’s various hanging sea creatures.

Elliott and Ethan playing on the activity mat!

Piper and Zachary getting in on the activity mat action

We then ventured back to the Silva’s house (after a few naps mixed in for good measure) for a BBQ and to enjoy the night.  The party moved from the carpet to the grass in the backyard.  We finally got a group photo of all the kids together (Nike even joined in!) and just had an all around great night of cornhole, good food, cold beer and great friends.

It was a weekend full of moments where you step back and really appreciate your life and how things have progressed.  It really is remarkable for this group to still be such good friends and still be so close after all these years and all the miles we’ve all traveled.  We spent countless hours in high school and college playing basketball, volleyball, video games and cards.  We didn’t let the fact that we were going to schools in Minnesota, Wisconsin, West Virginia and Massachusetts get in the way.  We all met wonderful women and they have all become friends along the way.  Now we’re starting our families and it was amazing to see our kids “playing” together now.

The Kids (from left): Nike, Piper, Elliott, Ethan, Zachary

We joked around that our kids don’t have a choice about being friends so we’re starting them young.  Two boys and two girls - Piper was happy to have Elliott join the gang so she was no longer outnumbered - now it’s up to the Silvas to break the tie.  Right now the developmental differences are pretty profound, but in reality they are all essentially the same age.  Elliott and Piper will be in the same grade (we’ll see which class Zachary ends up in with his August birthday) and Ethan will be the “old” one as he’s a whole 3-4 months older than Zach and Piper and ten months older than Elliott.

As a father, it was crazy to see the kids as they all seemed so big compared to Elliott, but I remembering holding all of them when they were her size.  To think about her being that big, or her crawling all over the place or even walking is almost too much to think about.  Right now, time with Elle is measured in days as she always seems to be reaching milestones or having a “first.”  Kari mentioned to me how proud she felt just to see our daughter amongst all these other wonderful kids - it really was a special weekend.

I feel so blessed and so lucky to have friends like these in my life.  To keep any friend for 10 - 15 years is remarkable, and to have a group this large manage to stay together is wonderful.  As our lives continue to get more complicated with marriages, houses and children, we’ve managed to stay close and include all the wonderful new parts of our lives in our friendship.  To my good friends - thanks so much for making the trip, can’t wait to see you again!

What a year Kari and I have had!  Exactly one year ago today, we were about to start dinner at our wedding reception.  What an amazing day we had.  Tons of family and friends, a rocking wedding party and of course - the now famous “Dirty Dawson” drink at our reception.  It is hard to believe that magical day happened a whole year ago. 

Since then, we’ve been to Aruba and back, got pregnant, bought a house and had our beautiful daughter Elliott.  I can’t think of a better way to spend a year.  I sit here typing this entry and I hear my wife and my daughter in Elle’s room playing after a diaper change.  Elliott is happiest right after a clean diaper, laying on her changing pad.  Given the foulness that she can fill those diapers with, I’d be happy to have a clean ass too.  Hearing my two girls together laughing and “talking” fills me with a happiness I didn’t know before.

I’ve found myself thinking that a lot in the past year.  Simply put, I’m happy. Kari and I truly found our perfect match.  Things aren’t always perfect and aren’t always easy;  but our love endures, is unshakeable and grows each day.  I’ve had a life full of amazing friends, great experiences and more - but the last year has been the best of my life.  I know that Kari and I have many more to come.  A big thank you to our friends who have joined us on the journey and an even bigger thank you to our families for helping make this first year so memorable.

Looking forward to many more wonderful years with Kari, who is truly my dream girl.

So here I sit in a dark recovery room, trying to corral my racing mind, while my wife and daughter sleep .  Just about 12 hours ago, Elle came into this world and boy oh boy is she amazing.  She’s tiny - yet already so coordinated and strong.  She’s new to this world - yet already so bright eyed and curious.  She’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen yet - has filled two of the nastiest diapers I’ver ever seen.

I’ll have much more to say about Elliott over the weeks, months and years ahead, but after the day she had yesterday, my wife deserves a bit of attention.  Quite simply put, Kari was unstoppable yesterday.  I’ve never seen anyone so completely set their mind to accomplishing such a daunting task.  I still can’t quite believe all that I saw.  I’ll get more into the whole labor process at a later date (don’t worry, I was taking notes), but I need to spend some time talking about the last 15 minutes.

Kari had progressed quickly, but Elle just didn’t want to get into the right position.  Her head was down, but she was spun around and just slightly off-center.  That meant that all of Kari’s pushing just extended the conehead and didn’t move her down the birth canal.  Dr. Bear arrived about 1:45 into the pushing and helped spin the baby around so Elliott was properly aligned.  Kari continued to push and push and push and she just wasn’t coming any further toward the light.

Around the two hour mark, Dr. Bear was starting to be concerned for the baby as heart rates were changing slightly and he was also concerned for Kari.  And well he should.  She had been up for about 36 hours at that point, spent about two hours in active labor before getting an epidural and then spent another two hours pushing harder than what seemed physically possible.  Both nurses and Dr. Bear commented on how strong Kari was - they were at a loss as to why the baby wasn’t coming down.  So Dr. Bear hinted at the idea of a C-section because he needed her to come down a few more inches so he could use forceps, but it seemed that little Elle just didn’t want to come out that way. 

The thought of a C-section, though a perfectly normal and safe procedure, had Kari worried.  She didn’t like the idea of being cut open, but more importantly to her - she wanted to finish what she had started.  Desi - our wonderful nurse - knew how important delivering vaginally was to Kari so when Dr. Bear left the room she gave Kari a pep talk and asked for one more set of pushes during the next contraction.  She wanted to see if Kari could make that baby move.  At that point, something otherworldly came from my wife.

Kari bore down and pushed.  She moved the heavens and earth with this push.  I was at her bedside on my knees trying to project all my energy into her, but she didn’t need it.  After the contraction and pushing stopped, Desi jumped like she had been electrocuted and was all excitement and giddiness.  She ran out to find Dr. Bear and brought him back into the room convinced the baby had moved.  Dr. Bear felt around and told Kari she had one last shot.  Move the baby down and out come the forceps and Baby Dawson.  No one mentioned the alternative.  I think we all knew deep down that Kari was going to do whatever it took to have Elliott the way that she wanted to.

With a nurse at each knee, Dr. Bear between her legs and me at her side - Kari took over that room.  She was a complete force of nature.  I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.  You could feel the heat and energy coming off of her.  I was as emotional during those pushes as I was when Elliott first poked her head out and looked around.  My wife decided she was going to have that baby.  Right. Now. As the contraction passed and the pushing stopped, Kari lay back spent - her eyes closed and brow damp with sweat.  We then heard four magical words from Dr. Bear. 

“Give me the forceps.”

She did it.  In three otherworldly pushes, Kari convinced her pelvis to realign, her uterine muscles to focus their energy and our little girl to move her little head down the canal.  Before we knew it, Elle was filling the room with her beautiful cries and my eyes filled with tears as I gazed upon my amazing, unstoppable wife.  She did it.