So as I was counting down the hours and minutes at the hospital, I thought I’d try and keep some notes on what happened when. I knew we were in for a long day/night/day and so many things would happen, I thought it might be nice to have a record of it all to look back upon once we’re caught up with sleep. With apologies to Bill Simmons, here (in mostly unedited glory) is the running diary of the labor and birth of Ms. Elliott Dorothy Dawson…
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
4:00pm: Kari and I checked in to Room 2015 in the West Allis Memorial Hospital Women’s Pavilion. This place is a mecca for pregnant and birthing women. All the elements, rooms and services are designed to make Moms-to-be feel as great as they can during a stressful time. Our room is nice - a single bed for Kari, a few chairs, a couch and a 17″ TV that might be older than some of the nurses that work here. OK, so the Women’s Pavilion could use a technology upgrade. Kari is hooked up to a baby heart rate monitor, a contraction monitor and has an IV tap installed for later use.
4:10pm: We meet Abby our nurse. She informs us that she’s on call and because overtime is so expensive, she might get cut at anytime. Abby is very nice and makes Kari feel right at home. We had heard some maternity ward RN horror stories, but all the girls we’ve seen thus far as young, friendly and relatively cute. So much for my vision of 52-year-old mustachioed, sado-masochistic women who take pleasure in the contractions of new mothers…
4:22pm: Carrie comes in to take some blood samples from my Kari. And yes, she did the old “your name will be easy to remember because its the same as mine!” game. Carrie gets overly excited about how great Kari’s veins are.
4:29pm: Carrie departs with four test tubes of some good ol’ B+ from the arm of my lovely wife. She packs them into what I believe is a tackle box.
4:40pm: Abby is continuing with a never-ending questionnaire that is part of the check-in process. It ranges from wondering about tattoos and piercings to chicken pox as a kid and I’m pretty sure I heard a “bird flu” reference.
5:02pm: I receive my official “Dad Pass” from the nurse’s station. I am now free to roam the halls of the maternity ward unmolested.
5:16pm: Kari starts her first crossword puzzle of the night from her new Pop Culture Crosswords book. We’re supposed to be working together on them, but she forgot that I’m completely clueless when it comes to pop culture. Now if she had gotten a Geology or Marketing and Branding Strategies crossword book, I would’ve been much more help.
5:19pm: Abby has evidently broken the bank here at West Allis Memorial. She’s being cut for the night and lets us know that Katie will be taking over and will come in to meet us shortly.
5:27pm: Abby administers the first dose of Cytotec. I don’t envy Kari as the gel tablet is inserted quite deep…
5:56pm: Katie comes in to meet us. She’s also a friendly gal though a bit more nervous than Abby. Abby put off a very soothing, holistic vibe. She let us know she was in midwifery school. Which she totally threw me for a loop by pronouncing it “mid-wivv-ery.” Despite her midwifery, she didn’t push any hippie, drug-free shit on us. She was very encouraging and made Kari feel comfortable. Katie seems a bit more clinical, but very nice.
6:08pm: Katie informs me that she wasn’t able to find a cot for me to sleep on tonight, but did bring some hospital grade sheets (read: 35 thread count) for me to use on the couch, so I’ve got that going for me. Better than having contractions I suppose…
6:30pm:Kari is informed that Dr. Bear (her OB) has given the OK for her to eat dinner. The room service menu includes a number of items along with the entree. Kari just wants a chicken sandwhich with fries and raspberry sherbet. I’m informed while ordering that she gets another side (mac n’ cheese), a drink (diet Sierra Mist), a soup or salad (she passes) and a dessert (tiramisu for me).
6:44pm:Sue (Kari’s Mom) arrives to check in on Kari and brings me Arby’s for dinner! Curly fries and roast beef sandwiches - with plenty of Arby’s Sauce - hit the spot and I’ve got two extra (4 for $5 deal is currently going) for Thursday! Sue sticks around to visit with Kari.
7:00pm:American Idol begins! I have to say that it’s a different experience watching the show on our large, flat screen HD tv and seeing it on this 17″ old school TV. The worst is that the audio comes out of the remote/call center thing Kari has next to her bed. Let’s just say everyone sounded a bit “pitchy” tonight. One positive from the experience? We didn’t have to see Adam Lambert’s skin in hi-def this week…
7:34pm: The food arrives! Excitement quickly wanes. Chicken sandwich is missing its lettuce, they forgot the mac n’ cheese, fries are cold and I think they used rubber in place of the lady fingers in the tiramisu. We quickly remembered that we were eating from a hospital cafeteria and quit complaining.
8:10pm: Sue departs after a much needed visit with her daughter. Sometimes, a girl just needs her Mom.
9:06pm: Katie comes in and notifies us that the contractions are too close together to administer the next dose of Cytotec at the scheduled time of 9:00. Once the pill is inserted, they can’t “take it back” so they need to make sure everything is spaced out enough for both baby and Kari’s well being. Kari has been feeling some mild contractions since the first dose - they feel similar to menstrual cramps (which half of you can relate to. For you guys out there - it doesn’t sound like fun, but they seem to be manageable). Katie hopes we’ll be ready to go in a half hour or so.
9:45pm: Contractions are still too close together for dose number two. They are between 2-5 minutes apart and Katie does a tummy check to see how strong they are. The contractions, though not yet strong, are a good sign because that means we’ve got some changes in the cervix.
11:00pm: Dose #2 of the Cytotec is finally administered as contractions have slowed to the point that it is safe to give to my girls.
**INTERLUDE** - One quick note of thanks to all of our wonderful friends and family. We recieved countless text messages, voice mails and phone calls throughout the night wishing us well. It means the world to Kari and me to have such great support and so many people happy to see our little girl come into the world. Heck, we even got a call wondering if Kari’s brother (a police officer in New Berlin) could help get someone out of a parking ticket.
11:20pm: Katie comes through and finds me a cot! I was excited to upgrade from the couch, until I actually lay down on the thing. Since I realize that I have no business complaining about discomfort as my wife is going through nature’s torture chamber, I’ll just say that it was nice to be able to pull the cot up against Kari’s bed and hold her hand as we tried to go to sleep.
11:35pm: I read the first two chapters of On Becoming Babywise to Kari as she tries to relax. Thanks to Mary Baehr and Sheila Blackman for the recommendation. I can already tell I’m down with this theory.
11:45pm: As contractions strengthen and Kari’s overall anxiety is high, she declares (if one can declare while whispering) to me “I don’t want to have another baby.” I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to talk her out of that one…
Thursday, March 26, 2009
12:15am: We attempt sleeping. I fall asleep despite the chiropractic adjustments the cot’s springs are giving me. Kari isn’t so lucky on the sleep front.
1:05am: Katie returns to remove the blood pressure cuff from Kari and check on her. I wake up for her return and also check on Kari. She’s doing fine, but not able to sleep.
2:05am: Katie returns again (I awake again) and informs Kari that Dr. Bear has checked in (we found out later that he delivered a baby at 2am which is why he was up at this unGodly hour) and wants to start the Pitocin in place of the 3rd Cytotec dose around 3:30am.
3:25am:We have another nurse change! RN#3 is a Kate. Not to be confused with Katie. She’s nice blend of the two previous nurses. A much warmer bedside manner than Katie but not nearly as homeopathicky as Abby. As she preps to start the Pitocin drip, Kari uses the bathroom and brushes her teeth just to feel a bit more human again.
4:30am: The contractions being to intensify for Kari.
5:15am: In what may be a profound bit of foreshadowing considering the soon to be addition to our family, I am awoken by: “Homer? I may have just wet the bed.” I try and shake off the fourth consecutive 45 minute nap and assess the situation. Things are definitely wet. The only advice we’ve had in this situation is to “smell it” but I have to admit that neither of us have any idea what amniotic fluid smells like. We call for Kate and she comes in. With crossed fingers we await the news…and success! The water has broken! Sorry Moses, but the parting of Kari’s amniotic sac just trumped your Red Sea trick in my book! We change out the sheets and pads and try to get Kari comfortable again as this usually signifies a change in labor’s progress.
5:25am: True to form, Kari’s contractions intensify. In a hurry. She goes from a “1-2″ on the pain scale to a “4-5″ in no time flat. Kate administers a dose of Nubaine, a narcotic pain reliever, that should give Kari some relief for the next two hours. The Nubaine was chosen over the epidural because there is still no progress on the cervix. Things are softening as they hoped, but no dilation. Kate warns Kari that the Nubaine might make her feel slightly light-headed or tipsy.
5:36am: I’m dozing off when I hear Kari giggle and say, “I feel like I’m drunk.” Yep, the Nubaine is working.
6:37am: Kari is ready for a bathroom break and I escort her and her Pitocin drip to the bathroom. Kate informs us that she is off at 7am, but is back here at 3:00pm. She says she’s already put it in to be assigned to Kari again. This makes Kari happy as Kate has been just wonderful dealing with her concerns, anxieties and pain (and my incessant questions).
7:17am: Desi arrives as nurse number four and assesses the situation. Kari lets her know that the Nubaine is wearing off and the contractions are getting to be pretty strong. Definitely a “5″ on the pain scale and climbing. We ask about a 2nd dose of Nubaine, but Desi tells us that a repeat dose isn’t as effective and we should consider starting the epidural. Kari is trying to tough it out as her cervix still isn’t favorable (and we’ve been hearing stories that the epidural slows things down), but the pain is intensifying. Desi consults with Dr. Bear (who is on his way in) and he says “go for it.”
7:53am: Dr. Bear arrives and checks things out. He checks the cervix and still no progress - just a fingertip dilated. He’s happy with her progress, but is hopeful that things will speed up as the day goes on. He leaves and will be kept apprised of her status throughout the day.
8:15am: The nurse and doctor arrive to administer the epidural. At this point, Kari’s contractions are up in the “8-9″ pain range. She is just trying to stay sane as the contractions piggyback each other and seem to be coming every two minutes or less. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life as I watch my wife just try and grit her teeth against the kind of pain I’ll never have to endure.
8:22am: Kari, while catching her breath between two massive contractions, informs me for the second time that we’re only having one baby. The doctor is still at work on her back.
8:40am: Thank the good Lord, the drugs have kicked in. Kari weathered the storm like a champ. In true Kari fashion, she started to apologize for the outbursts during the contractions. Before I could protest, Desi chimes in and politely tells her to shut up and that she has NOTHING to apologize for. I still feel pretty helpless, but at least she’s not in pain anymore. My wife is a bad ass.
8:48am: The lack of sleep and the energy the contractions sapped from her have made Kari so sleepy. It is nap time for my lovely bride.
9:37am: Kari isn’t able to fall into any sort of deep sleep as she can still feel the contractions squeezing (but painfree!) and the blood pressure cuff seems timed to inflate just as she’s dozing off. Regardless, she is getting some well needed rest. Desi comes in and wants to check out her cervix. And we have dilation!! 3 centimeters baby!! Desi sits back and, after realizing that Kari went from “fingertip” to “3cm” in about two hours, basically says, “Holy shit - those contractions MUST’VE been strong.” We are greatly encouraged.
10:15am: Flip time! Now that Kari has the epidural, she can’t leave the bed as she has little to no feeling below her waist. To help get the baby moving downward, she needs to flip from side-to-side about every hour.
10:29am: Kari asks me to hit “the button.” The epidural is essentially a catheter that is placed into the epidural region next to the spine. They are then able to administer local anaesthetic drugs through the catheter. It is on a pre-programmed drip to administer a set amount of drugs each hour. The doctor showed us a button that will administer a boost to the drugs. She needed a bit of a boost as the pressure from the contractions was building again.
10:38am: I warmed up one of my roast beef sandwiches for a late breakfast. Delicious. I wish Arby’s sold their Arby’s Sauce at the store. That stuff is so good. I know they’d hit their sales projections in Sturtevant…
10:50am: Time to flip again!
11:19am: As Kari is finally getting some rest, I decide to jump in the shower and get myself cleaned up. I didn’t want to stink and have greasy hair the first time I met my daughter. She’ll probably spend most of her teens embarassed of me anyhow - don’t need to give her any more ammunition. The shower in our bathroom is one of the deluxe models - set up so laboring women can use it for comfort if needed. It had four shower heads running up the wall, a normal showerhead in the traditional position and one of those movable showerheads with a handle that can be moved and aimed in any direction is right next to me on a clip. I get into the bathroom, set up my clothes on the spa tub next to the shower and try and figure things out. With six shower heads I figured it would be complicated but there were just two knobs. One to turn the water on and another to control what head is being used. No problem. I turn the water on to get it warmed up and - WHAM!!! - I am greeted with ice cold water blasting up my nose and mouth. Turned out that “primary” on the head control knob was NOT for the traditional shower head as I thought, but the movable showerhead that was 10″ away aimed at eye level. In a series of moves that would be called graceful by few, but Three Stoogian by most - I slip, slide and stumble my way around the bathroom trying to turn this water torture device off. I finally get it shut off and between my coughing, cussing and laughing I realize that I’ve managed to soak 60% of the bathroom, the stack of towels they just delivered and my clothes (both what I was wearing and my clean clothes for the day). After a few more fits and starts, I completed the task at hand and emerged clean though suitably humbled in my ability to figure out the machinations of the Kohler corporation.
12:14pm: Kari is finally starting to doze off a bit when Desi returns. She needs Kari to flip again, but wants to check the progress of her cervix. Holy shit - we’re at 8cm!! In five hours Kari went from nothing to being on the cusp of delivery (note to all men who, like me ten months ago, don’t know anything about birth - the cervix is fully dilated at 10cm and pushing fun time begins). Desi says “This baby is coming soon - like in the next few hours.” We were suitably excited and hoped Desi’s cervix prediction skills were as strong as her bedside manner.
12:19pm: Sue, Kari’s Mom and provider of Arby’s sandwiches, comes over to visit over her lunch hour. She gets the full download on the progress and then spends some time brushing Kari’s hair. It was a small touch that meant the world to Kari. When a woman is in labor she gives up most of her self. She’s exposed, both emotionally and physically. Her body becomes a tool for a task after spending 40 weeks as a one-bedroom apartment. She submits herself to levels of pain that defy what the mind would normally tolerate. Through all of that, it was nice to see Kari get a touch of her self back by having her hair brushed and feeling, if even for a minute, more like herself.
12:35pm: Nausea hits Kari pretty hard and she is still extremely tired. I encourage her to rest as much as possible. In the mean time, I try and tidy up the room as best I can. Show time is coming!
12:40pm: I eat the fourth installment of my Arby’s “4 for $5″ meal plan. I seriously think Arby’s Sauce is one of my favorite foods.
12:45pm: I hear a beautiful sound - quiet snoring coming from Kari’s bed. My girl needs her rest.
1:01pm: Desi comes in to administer some anti-nausea medication and predisone (which Kari takes for her lupus and rheumatoid arthritis). Kari stirs, but still sleeps.
1:16pm: Kari is up again and its time for another check of Ms. Cervix. And we’ve hit 9cm! Kari is excited, but wearily so - she needs more rest.
1:53pm: Desi returns yet again to check out the cervix. She gives us two messages. Both are good and show progress, but only one makes you grimace a bit. “The cervix is nearly completely gone (good!) and there is a lot of bloody show (commence grimacing).” Desi seems to think that we’re getting closer and says she’ll return soon to check on things.
2:29pm: Dr. Bear calls Desi and wants her to wait until 3:00 to check again. They’re waiting for the “12 o’clock position” to thin out as there is a lip on it as things currently stand.
2:45pm: Kari and I had been going non-stop in the madness of the previous 23 hours since checking into the hospital, so we asked everyone to leave us alone for 15 minutes. We took some time to sit together and reflect on our lives and the changes about to come. The specifics we’re going to keep to ourselves, but rest assured that we moved forward in complete lockstep and as happy as two people could be.
3:21pm: Desi enters and she’s with a graduate nurse named Amy. Amy was an officer for the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s department for eight years and decided she had enough with putting away bad people and was now going to focus her life on bringing out innocent ones. The cervix still had that stubborn lip, but we’re going to start pushing as the pressure of the baby’s head can sometimes finish thinning things out.
3:40pm: We take a break from pushing. It wasn’t completely successful. The anterior lip has reduced in size, but is still problematic. The nurses are going to let Kari “labor down” for 30-45 minutes - basically a process where they let natural contractions run their course without pushing. They’re also going to call Dr. Bear with an update.
3:50pm: Dr. Bear suggests a “couple hour” labor down period, but Desi is pushing for just an hour. I’m not sure if she was that excited or trying to protect her prediction from a few hours earlier. The baby doesn’t seem as interested in coming as quickly as Desi would’ve liked…
4:19pm:With the “couple hour” labor down period, I decide to take advantage of the time and place an order with Sue for some boneless wings from BW’s. I needed to eat and nothing says “new Dad” quite like buffalo sauce on your fingers. I place an order for carry out and Sue makes the run!
4:37pm: I put in a Golden Girls DVD to soothe Kari and little Elliott-in-utero. For those of you who don’t know, Kari’s all-time favorite show is The Golden Girls. She literally knows every word to every single episode. To the point where the other day she was watching a re-run on the Hallmark Channel and noticed that they were using a different final edit than what Lifetime used to air. Kari has watched 2-3 episodes of The Golden Girls daily (thanks DVR) since being pregnant. We’re convinced that some day Elliott is going to hear “Thank You For Being a Friend” on an oldies station and wonder why she suddenly got a warm fuzzy feeling.
4:42pm: I ventured into the hallway to find some ice water for us and rummaged through a “Staff Only” fridge and snagged some Sierra Mists for Kari - I thought they might be good post-partum. As I returned to our room, I noticed that someone had rolled up the little cart with the tray/scale combo that would be used to weigh our daughter once she finally came into this world. Seeing that thing hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want to say “it became real” because this was all very real to me since I saw the positive EPT stick in Kari’s shaking hand. I think seeing that cart filled me with a sense of finality - the “pregnant” stage of our life was about to be over and I was more excited and determined than ever.
4:47pm: Sue returns with the boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings and I soon realize that I can’t eat these things in our room. The last thing we need is the scent of buffalo wing sauce and teriyaki permeating the nurses’ scrubs as they’re delivering our baby. I figure we still have at least an hour before Kari starts pushing again, so I wander into the hallway looking for some place I can hunker down. As I leave the room, I overhear Desi and Amy talking and they mention that they don’t want to wait until after 6:00 to start pushing again. They want to start soon. I hightail it to the waiting area to grab a chair to eat.
4:53pm: I set a new world record for eating 14 boneless wings in four minutes. I’m not proud of the accomplishment and frankly, I felt pretty sick about it (literally) and I don’t think I tasted any of them. One nurse walked past as I was bent over the styrofoam to-go container and started to make a “that smells good” type of comment and almost recoiled at the pace I was setting. An emo-goth hybrid teenage girl was sitting in one of the other chairs listening to her Ipod and pretending to be disinterested in life, but I even got a wide-eyed “holy crap” reaction from one so unaffected with life so I knew it wasn’t pretty. It didn’t matter. I needed to eat and I wasn’t going to miss any pushing.
5:00pm: I’m back in the room and as I cope with my distended stomach - Kari didn’t appreciate my “I think I’m going to have a boneless chicken wing baby” joke - the nurses return and inform Kari that they’re about ready for her to start pushing again.
5:12pm: The final two hours are a blur of pushing and general bad-assness from my lovely wife.
7:11pm: I’m officially a father. Elliott Dorothy Dawson arrives and after a brief stay on my wife’s chest, she needs to be checked over by a neonatologist and his support staff. She proceeds to urinate on them. Which is both funny and a sign of healthy kidney function!
7:15pm: The neonatologist gives Elle a clean bill of health and tells us we have a beautiful AND healthy baby girl. Mom and Dad are still crying the sweetest tears of joy.
And at that point, I lost track of time. So many emotions, so many things happening, so many people congratulating us - but I only had eyes for my wife and my daughter. I’m sure I’ll try and gather my thoughts and memories from the 2+ hours that flew by in the delivery room before getting moved to our recovery room but I think this has gone on long enough.
Thanks for bearing with this marathon post - just over 4300 words. I was in grad school the last time I wrote something this long. I think it’ll be fun for Elle to read some day and I had a blast remembering the journey we took to get our little girl into this world.
