Kari’s Thoughts

It has now been about 10 days since I’ve quit breastfeeding, and I must say, the transition has gone much smoother than I anticipated. Thankfully, I stockpiled a lot of frozen breastmilk during the last five months, so for the last week and a half, we’ve mixed the breastmilk with formula to feed Elle. That’s going well. She took to the change quite easily and I’ve come to accept that formula will not kill my baby. Formula, however, does result in much smellier diapers.

As for the whole milk-drying-up situation, that has also been pretty easy. I was afraid my boobs would explode as I weened, but that hasn’t been the case. In a few days, I should be back to pre-baby boob status. Although, my boobs are still giant compared to what they were before this all began. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss my little B-cups. Oh well. I’m sure Homer’s not complaining.

My new medication is going well. The pain throughout my body has definitely diminished.  I am not so stiff in the mornings and I don’t lie awake in bed because everything hurts. The decision to stop breastfeeding to start taking care of myself was a good one.

That is my new goal–to take care of myself. Sometimes I put so much time and effort and stress into worrying about all the negative in my life that I fail to stop and see all of the goodness around me. So, with the changing of the seasons, I am making changes within myself.

I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers and I’m going to lose 15 pounds. I probably don’t need to spend the $40 a month to do this, but I like the support and accountability of going to the meetings and weighing in, so I’m doing it. I’m forcing myself to eat healthier. Five days into the program–I am doing well.  

I’ve really committed myself to my running. This past week, I logged more than 50 miles.  It’s become a stress reliever and source of strength for me. As much as I enjoy my time with Elliott, I need to get out of the house. I need that time alone to just think and figure things out.  And I like the challenge. When you’re running, you can only be defeated by yourself. It’s a mental game–and I like the accomplishment of meeting my goals.

And I’m staying positive about the job situation. That probably answered your question–still no job.  But, it will come in time. Until then, I will keep meeting with people and sending out my resume. One of these days, something will happen. I just keep telling myself that somehow God has a plan for me and he’s just waiting for the right time and situation for me. 

I know I year from now I will be sitting here thinking, “See…this all worked out for the best.”